Monday, August 9, 2010

The Theory of Nevertivity

The Universe is a great and wonderful thing. What we know about it and its inhabitant’s changes as our understanding of science and mathematics becomes more advanced.
In 1687 Newton rocked the world with his three laws concerning force and bodies in movement. To put it in ways the everyday person can understand it goes something like this;

Law 1- If you have one child watching Scooby Doo with a bowl of chips and a juice box unhindered they are likely to stay put.

Law 2- Add a second child who is a remote stealing maniac hell bent on watching FlapJack and you have a chase. The previous body at rest would have stayed at rest had not the second body forced it to take action and chase it around the living room.

Law 3- When child number one is tired of running and smacks child number two he return the smack in "equal" ferocity. This was cutting edge for its time.

Then in 1905 Einstein rolled into town with his Special Relativity and Non Inertial Frames of Reference and the universe as we knew it became something even more wonderful as we found better ways to appreciate its complexities. He said that no matter where you are or what planet you are on laws regarding motion are the same. Meaning once the remote has been stolen, a chase and smacking will ensue whether the child is on Earth or Mars. Very simplistic I know but this is not Scientific American.

Fast forward to 2010 and I propose to you yet another break through in understanding life the universe and everything. The Theory of Nevertivity. This theory has two parts the first being the law of Karma and Never, the second being the law of Never and Rightness.

The law of Karma and Never proposes that at the same speed you declare you will never do something, you will be sent that same thing to plague you in as many forms as possible till you either give in or admit there are exceptions to the rule.

Ask any politician or televangelist that has had to apologize for a mistress. Then ask any actor that is repaying promotional money because the diet they were advertising lasted as long as their next relationship. Meaning after the love is gone food moves in to replace it and there is no diet in the world that repair a broken heart the way chunky money can. As soon as we say never it becomes ever and our constant companion.

The law of Never and Rightness proposes that in the same measure that you insist on being right you will be equally unhappy.

The problem with always being right is that every other person on the planet is always wrong and it is hard to live in the glow of such righteousness. Also when you are always right there is no room for compromise and the only way for relationships to work is for there to be compromises on both sides. I see unhappy people everyday that insist the root of their unhappiness is that the people in their lives refuse to see that they are right and do what they want. It never occurs to them that they might be wrong. Then there is the additonal fear that admitting wrongness is tantamount to a Supreme Court Reversal of conviction causing every other judgment they made to that point suspect. Which in the wider scheme of things is just crazy, I promise you the big brother is not watching you waiting for you to slip up he too busy watching… well Big Brother, or Lost in syndication. Happy in compromise or right and alone.

Humanity like the universe is a vast everchanging thing. What is the knowable today is refutabel tomorrow. In light of that absolutes are never a good thing, and I am just as bad as everyone else at declaring them. I have to remind myself to “try” to never say never, nothing is black and white. Cheaters do sometimes prosper, diets work as long as the line at Baskin Robbins and sometimes people find love and wonder in places they never thought they would be looking. And in those moments when I feel so right that I expect the heavens to open and doves to alight upon me, I need someone to say; Honey do you want to be happy or do you want to be right.

1 comment:

  1. Ahhhh, still laughing. You most definitely have a way with words. I absolutely love your analogies.