Thursday, June 30, 2011

A poem for Claire who I admire greatly...

This for Claire who like me is always ready to speak her mind but looks much hotter saying it.

I always feel like I am falling. I wake in the morning and fall out of bed into my clothes, out of the door off the porch and into my car. Once I am at my destination I fall into an abyss of meetings and greetings and misunderstandings. Some days I fall in love or lust or both depending on the situation and before I can take the time to write a name in the sand I am falling out of love and back into the everyday that comes from unevolved relationships.

I fall into anger and hate and sometimes destruction… only of myself of course for I am own crown of thorns.

I fall into sin then and then into and out of grace then feel the blessings I as I am lowered through a cloud of ecclesiastical revelation that can only come after a great fall... from grace

Sometimes I fall into rapture and joy unabated and I soar for a moment even as I lose elevation.

At night I fall into the bed and watch the tears fall slowly down my face as darkness falls and eventually I fall asleep feeling small and alone and fall out of the bed the next morning and start over again.

On a good day I fall into the arms of a hundred waiting children who are falling as well and we both close our eyes and hope one of us catches the other.

At the end of the day I go home and fall into the arms of a man that loves me and hates me in equal measure, so the tears begin again and the cycle sets to repeat and I fall some more.

I sometimes watch the earthbound people around me and wonder what it must be like to spend their days tethered firmly to the earth. What it must be like for those that don’t feel that familiar whoosh of air as it slides past their face. Then I think about what it would be like to stop falling and join them.

It is not long before I realize that all that I have fallen past and all that I flew by in fear is only a few feet behind me and will most certainly come crashing down on me and bring about my death. Sadly or hopefully depending on the day, time and the feel of the grass under my feet I decide I that I am not ready to die so I fall into the nearest thing, then into another looking for my next great trip. Even as I write this I feel the pull of gravity around me and I fall…